I Will Never Show a Girl My Willy

‘Changing Times’ Column 2006 – 2007

“I won’t be rich or good looking until I’ve found the girl of my dreams.” Kenny aged five, wising-up early to the games people play.

Thirty years later and I attracted her. The woman of my dreams. I precisely tweaked my list of requirements as I observed the birds in hand, some good inner work and WHAM! Flung together. It was right.

She was earning far more than my heart-on-my-sleeve self. Love slowly and carefully blossomed and as self-prophecy would have it, secure riches did too!

Luckily, Angela and I were ‘on our pathways’ before we’d met, though realistically, we are doing the human curriculum which means that paths run parallel on a sunny day, where on a moon shadow cast anyone may break through the cracks and run passionately, shamelessly wild and free.

A skip, a whistle and flowers to smell along the path came as naturally to us as tricks, trips, traps and the odd tantrum did not. What a relief! Personal responsibility and choice are the words written on the wall, though an exciting picture of aesthetic attachment may sometimes seduce attention from the written words. Dusting and adjusting done, one of us takes the picture down when it’s time.

Bad behaviour that comes from a pure heart is always forgiven, as we honour: ourselves, one another and the space between us. She is so beautiful, with the pen of concentration in her mouth, sweet sunny smile, wild liberated laughter, vulnerable tears of sadness, joy and love.

Single life is wonderful. A recent three week plunge was welcomed, as Angela visited with her family in Italy. I got a taste of the cat being away and found lush green grass on the other side of the fence to forage in. Exciting. I chose to stick to our greener, better pruned and tenderly cared for grass with wild corners and pathways trodden only by the strong of heart.

Four and a half years on and the honeymoon period slowly gives way to a more settled reality. What will we settle for? Where and how will we settle? Rings, booties and matching things? Why? Here and now, or sensible shenanigans for a secure couple of rocking chairs later on? Both?

“I will never show a girl my willy!” Kenny aged five, innocent and very shy.

Angela and I are in a tantric relationship, exploring our sexuality and crossing thresholds of fear through massive courage, self-commitment and vulnerability. It’s not all sex, though I’m cool to show now.