Happy Year Of The (wood) Snake...

What's all this sneaky snakey shenanigans all about then??! 

Today's new moon shines a fond farewell to the intense Year Of The Dragon, as mesmerizing snake energy slithers into our space, reminding us to ssslow down, consssider our choissses carefully, act with wisssdom - not greed or haste - and follow through practically, precissssely, groundedly and with the bigger picture in mind.

• What is the bigger picture of your life?
• What temptsss, tormentsss and tricksss you off your chosen path?

How in balance are your inner masculine? Your inner feminine? Your inner tormentor tesssting you on your path?

Snake Symbology Over Millennia...

The Caduceus, the Rod of Asclepius, the Ouroboros and the Serpent 

How To Navigate The Snake Year...

Seven Sexy Steps to guarantee a successful snake year! 

(i) Seduction: Do you seduce people into being who you want them to be, doing what you want them to do and agreeing with whatever you think, feel and believe? Are you easily influenced by charismatic individuals, or bought by blinding brands, or manipulated by media echo-chambers? Breathe into your body and slow things right down, using your head, heart and gut to feel into what's real, what doesn't quite feel right and what's worthy of further exploration. Hopefully, your body barometer will help you feel into what's real for you, then you can breathe and take part in the world in authentic alignment with your self.

(ii) Secrets: St Hildegard of Bingen said that 'secrets make us sick'. Jesus of Nazareth said that 'the truth will set us free'. This year, conscious cats will find their way out of the bags with information that will surely shock, sicken and eventually liberate so many of us, opening our eyes, heads and hearts to what really is and what has been hidden for far too long. From familial facts, to historical hoaxes, to religious revelations, to the secrets we keep from ourselves and those we love - this will be a year of revelations, with houses of cards tumbling down to make space for firm foundations, so we can build on truth, with love.

(iii) Shedding: As the snake regularly sheds its skin, we are reminded that we can also let go of outgrown restrictions, with love and gratitude. As the veil is lifted from our eyes we are free to shed any thing, any one, old beliefs and behaviours, patterns and pacts that have kept us trapped in our own minds and misery. So here's to letting go of encumberments and making space for new opportunities, new beginnings, transformative ideas and feeling comfortable in our own skin as we navigate into bigger, better lives. Who or what in your life no longer sparks joy? Hold them in your heart with gratitude, then shed them with love.

(iv) Simplicity: I believe that the complications of modern life have been designed to distract. I've found screens to be addictive, easy to hide behind, or work at like a possessed maniac. As conscious adults, we have absolute choice over where we put our attention and how we spend our time. I've recently spent a small fortune to simplify my life and business, my tech and passwords, my organisation and team, so that I can give more energy to what I want to grow and I can notice the signs and temptations that life always sends my way. Life is on my side (I believe yours too!) and I've made space for growth and adventure.

(v) Stillness: It's in the silence that I can hear the still silent voice that puts the pieces together and has always guided me. This isn't the voice or reason, or the critical voice that wants to keep me safe from humiliation, or the protective voice that wants to keep me safe from harm, this is more of an inner voice that has told me to say something to a stranger that has changed my life, or to not take the next step off the pavement to save my life, or who to trust, or which turn to take, or which hunch to follow. Sometimes I hear this voice in meditation, sometimes in nature, sometimes when I'm ironing my shirts, always in the stillness.

(vi) Silliness: Where's the fun in always being wise and wonderful, still and spiritual, focussed, forgiving and forging ahead? I worry that taking myself too seriously will give me worry lines! I'd rather express the fun stuff that goes through my head than wear a professional 'I've got it all sorted' mask, while over-thinking and putting on a good show. As we say at MenSpeak, 'we're here to show up, not show off' so authenticity is key and risking being a laughing stock is worth the risk... Life is worth the risk! What other people think of me is none of my business, so I'll show up partaking in the pleasures of my pathway!

Squirting! The bad-boy alternative to Skipping? I shared a meal with these beloved men after we shared our hearts, souls and facilitation skills - filming for my accredited training course, in Service to humanity and making the world a more conscious, connected, communicative place.

(vii) Skipping: When I'm alone, in a long corridor, perhaps in a hotel or venue, a town hall or supermarket aisle - I tend to skip! I've been doing it for a few decades now, all over the world and I've very rarely been caught! If someone sees me, I'll stop and act normally, as this is for myself - and sometimes a lucky friend - rather than playing to the audience. If I didn't skip, I'd probably be walking in an orderly fashion, just like I was told to at school. The good news is that I've left school and I've entered perpetual playtime!

• How could you keep yourself light and breezy in your body and mind?
• How could you enjoy spontaneous silly fun?

Talking of MenSpeak Men's Groups...

We've held online MenCheck-in Group every day since lockdown!

MenCheck-in is held every weekday 12.30pm-1.30pm and every weekend 10.30am-11.30am, FREE for the first month, then £20 (£10 conc.) per month for unlimited groups. We hold weekly AllGenderSpeak groups, with DadSpeak, NeuroDivergentMenSpeak, and many other groups to be announced next month. Click here to register and take part.

Should you wish to train to hold your own groups or work better with men, then please click here to find out about our trainings.

Purpose & Passion Training Course

How to explore your purpose and live with passion...

The accredited MenFacilitate training will be held one evening a week for seven weeks, starting in late winter / early spring. It has hugely accelerated the personal and professional development of so many people, upping skills, confidence, self-awareness, purpose, passion and fun - in good company - as we practise using the tools and grow. Click here to find out more.

Our short animation shows why men are struggling - and it brings us the solution.

The Light Has Come!

How to live beyond dark shadows in daily life...

I often hold this meditation space for the students of A Course In Miracles, where I read a 'lesson', we share quiet space together, then we share our thoughts and feelings and I take questions. Lessons 75 gives us an opportunity to draw a line on the past and shine light on the pathway ahead. The time is surely now, as now is all there is. It's wonderful to share the journey, as the pathway can be quite lonely.

I was in such a flap trying to find the link to get to this meditation on time. I lost it in cyber-space! How I used to be lost in the space between my ears!

My latest Agony Uncle column for the iPaper

I'm 61 and my wife wants a divorce - I regret everything I didn't do.

My wife and I have been in and out of couples therapy because she says she no longer loves me. It started with her opening up to me over a year ago, saying she was no longer physically attracted to me and needed me to get into shape in addition to working less and making more of an effort with our relationship. This isn’t the first time I’ve heard all this.

I fell off my fitness goals because work got busy, and I sometimes struggle with forming new habits, but at the time I didn’t get any indication that me failing to stick to my new diet and exercise were causing her to fall out of love with me.

‘It can be very difficult to love someone else when our own self-worth is low,’ says Kenny (Photo: Kseniya Ovchinnikova/Getty)

Breaking point was when we got into a huge fight at a friend’s son’s wedding and I snapped at her when she kept pressuring me to dance. I was self-conscious that I looked fat in my suit. We left the wedding shortly after and this is when she told me she didn’t love me anymore; that I had stopped making an effort with her; that life was too short; that “you never want to do anything and are miserable” and she still has her whole life to live.

After the fight I suggested couples therapy. She told the therapist that I had failed as a husband and let her down when she had made it clear what she needed from me. At this point, she mentioned that divorce was on the table and she had been discussing it with her own therapist for “a while”. Now, despite my pleading, she says it’s too late and she’s looking to engage a lawyer. I wish I hadn’t waited until the point of no return to get my life together. I took everything for granted.

The thought of re-entering the dating pool this late in my life fills me with fear – if my wife leaves me I just know I’m going to die alone.

Click here for Kenny's response.

Chat with me: £25 for 25 minutes

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