If you've been pushing and criticising yourself, when you could have been hibernating and kind to yourself, maybe you're more in alignment with nature than you think! ...and if 2026 hasn't gone to plan for you so far, then here's another bite at the apple!

Why not offer said apple 🍎 to the headstrong horse 🐴 this lunar new year and make peace with your true nature as you align yourself with your core energy, ground yourself on the earth, safely able to listen to guidance from the heavens and the still small voice from within.

If you're out of alignment, it's possible that life will reflect where you are by digging its heels in like a defiant donkey, being stubborn as a mule, while all along you want to graze in pastures anew or be with / find your heard and bathe in belonging, or running wild and free.

So cut the control-freakishness, self-nagging and social (media) prancing and be present enough to notice the water before you - then drink. The grass is always greener where you're present, accepting of 'what is' as a beloved part of the herd.

Happy Chinese New Year!

Today, the Fire Horse gallops in bringing fast-paced change...

Man that snake year was a full-on journey, with a hot summer, a cold winter, lots of snakes in the grass being brought to the surface, skins shed until some of us felt raw, and hopefully gained clarity of self, purpose, essence and boundaries for the next chapter in our lives to unfold.

Last year was preparation for the white-knuckle ride ahead - which doesn't necessarily need to be a bad thing! So ride your white horse of purity and nobility in alignment between heaven and earth, to help you navigate the untameable force of the white horses stampeding and crashing towards you as the rough and stormy seas ahead. 

With thanks to my dear friend - and NeuroDivergent / MenCheck-in facilitator - Patrick, who created this image (probably using AI, in seconds!) and made it the new icon for our facilitators group chat. Man and horse united in our quest! Facilitators united in our quest to share our journeys as we adventure through life alongside those we hold safe and open-heartedly serve every day at MenCheck-in. 

1666 saw The Great Fire of London; with other fire horse years launching the radio, accelerating the arms race and losing 80% of the city in the San Francisco earthquake and fires of 1906. In 1966 we saw the first ATM cash machine, the first soft landing on the moon, the rise of women's liberation, escalation of the Vietnam war, China's cultural revolution led by Chairman Mao Zedongand and both Star Trek and Batman hitting our screens.

Fire Horse Years bring social unrest and revolution, with destructive, then creative change. Expect collapse of old structures and allow your inner world to guide you through.

I believe that we're all products of our environments, so you'd best be conscious about your inner and outer environments, including what you consume through your eyes, your ears and your mouth - as well as the company you keep.

My intention - and that of my beloved facilitators - is to hold clean, safe spaces for people to share our journeys and gracefully grow into ourselves, in good company. My question is never "who are you?" It's more "who do you no longer needed to be?" ...as you transcend the blocks between you and living authentically, purposefully, powerfully and passionately.

So, if you've ever considered 'doing your personal work' then, I believe, this might well be your time. It would be wiser to fly home on the back of Pegasus and live amongst the gods, than to be lead by the nose alongside the unconscious heard towards the glue factory. 

Right now, humanity has lost its grip on the reigns of reason, with our attention hoodwinked and programmed by floods of information, convincing misinformation, unruly leaders, unaware influencers, false prophets, ghastly gurus and experts obsessed with building a following and chasing the limelight. This is not a time to be mislead by the muzzle of obedience with your blinkers on. This is the time to gain self-awareness, get grounded and trot to the tempo of the free-spirited, sensitive be~ing that you are, with your doing extending from your being as you live on this earth.

Saddle up for the ride of a lifetime!

So what's the year of the fire horse going to bring us and how do you put your best hoofs forward?

 (i) POWER! This is not a year to play with fire, as one way or another, you'll probably get burnt! The fire element of this year is fierce, unstoppable and unforgiving. Rather than trying to calm the stampede, fight fire with fire, or push the river - it might be wiser to go with the flow and learn to humble yourself, harness and consciously direct your creative energy taking heed of your inner guidance beyond the noise around you, the noise in your head, or the noise from screens and speakers that are designed to steal your power. Breathe back, listen and follow.

(ii) SENSITIVITY. Horses have a sixth sense and know when something 'bad' is brewing. Mighty horse power is easily distracted by a disturbance in the force, a snake in the grass, a storm brewing, inner knowing that guides creative change and avoids testing trouble. So learn to listen to your inner guidance on the back of the horse by sitting still and breathing, cantering through nature like a medieval pilgrim, entering 'the zone' where the soul of your iron gracefully glides your shirt to perfection and you can listen from an inner world that's silent and still.

Ground yourself with a martial art, dance your shackles off, sing your voice present and take heed of your inner guidance to avoid bucking bronco that could stop you in your tracks mid gallop and break your bones.

(iii) SELF-GROOMING. After snake year shedding, its time to pick yourself up, brush your hide down and calmly trot back into the ring once you've had your hoofs checked out - so you can trust the ground you're building new life on and trust your ability to firmly stand your ground and walk a conscious path, beyond the same old paddock. Soothing self-talk will calm separation anxiety and attract your true herd to walk with you as you meet the white-knuckle ride ahead. So check your teeth, graze consciously, trust your gut, respect your body and get your blood pumping into your muscles. Fiery energy needs good grounding.

(iv) CALM THE SAVAGE BEAST*. The horse is not best broken into obedience, but met with mutual respect and trust so that this year can be a dynamic partnership. The relationship between human and horse is built on effective communication, mutual understanding and the intricate dance of rider behaviour influencing equine response. The horse senses fear at 20 paces, so approach this year calmly and carefully knowing that your B🐂💩S will be challenged and your authentic presence demanded so the ride is safe, beyond bolting, because you've proved yourself worthy of being trusted with the reigns.

(v) KEEP THE PEACE, KNOW YOUR PACE. This year guarantees fast-paced changes, so learn to be still and keep the peace within you and emanate it from your being. With AI, madness in the media, mayhem from those in power, bullying, rebellion, mistrust and misbehaviour know that the peace inside will separate you from the dumbed down herd. Flare your nostrils to breathe yourself back, smell friend or foe, cool down both body and brain and match your movements with your breathing and heartrate. Horses also communicate with their nostrils, but for us, psychic or traditional verbal may be easier and more accurate at this stage!

*I'm fully aware that the playwright William Congreve actually wrote, “Music hath charms to soothe the savage breast. To soften rocks, or bend the knotted oak.” So yeah: breast, not beast - though it's proved itself to work for both!

Hold Your Horses!

Stampeding into situations may take you into dark places...

I used to love a bit of horseplay with my best friends. It sometimes (rarely) got out of hand and took us into dark places, though its from the dark that we most seek the light. We tested our strength, sharpened our wits, built trust, established boundaries and pumped up our muscles and egos.

Find your herd this year, be heard and explore heard dynamics. This is surely a year to 'be in it together'! Less muzzle and more nuzzle, as physical human contact naturally nurtures, nourishes and provides information of where and how you are.

...a gentle reminder that a trot or a canter is fine, where on the hoof might lead you into dark places. So breathe yourself grounded and choose to take heed, rather than act in a panic and with unnecessary speed! Image with many thanks to Chad Carpenter from Tundra Comics. 

My recent Agony Uncle column for the iPaper

My wife only wants sex on 'special occasions' - it's incredibly boring

I’ve been married for 22 years and my wife and I used to have a very healthy sex life. We enjoyed each other’s bodies, were adventurous and loved figuring out what the other person enjoyed. Decades since, and three children later, the sex has pretty much dried up.

The sex went from a couple of times a day, to a couple of times a week, once a month and now we have sex on special occasions – I’m talking anniversaries, birthdays, holidays. 

‘My wife recently joked that Valentine’s Day was coming and if I was ready for my ‘yearly’ treat,’ this week’s reader complains (Photo: Getty)

My wife recently joked that Valentine’s Day was coming and if I was ready for my “yearly” treat. It was only a joke but it really depressed me. We’re only in our early fifties and when we do have sex it’s quite routine and boring.

How can I switch things up or ask for more without offending my wife? 

Click here for Kenny's response.

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I'm known in the media for my work with men, though 40% of my private clients are women who are often in the public eye, professional and courageous enough to meet themselves where their spirits were broken and they felt powerless, so they can safely turn their lives around. 

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