MoVember has passed and very soon, my mo will go. December is upon us and very soon, 2024 will go. It's the Chinese Year of the Dragon, and on the new moon of 29th January, we'll welcome the year of the Snake. More about that next year...

Are you seeing eye-to-eye with your dragon this Year Of The Dragon? (Much better than an unnecessary slaying, dontcha think??!)

How has your 2024 been so far?

Mine has been a bit of an insightful runaway rollercoaster...

As the year draws to a close, I invite you to do three things:

1. List the lows of the year. The times you've felt lost and lonely, sad and stuck, ready to throw the towel in with a "you win! I'm out of here!!" This was one of mine and I'm relieved to say that right now, I'm doing just fine...

2. List the learnings from the lows and celebrate that you're no longer there! If you are still in a bit of a dip and things haven't passed yet, breathe into your feelings and follow you feeling back to their source. Back there and then (in your dark shadow) is probably that part of you that wants your attention, so you can feel any unfelt feelings and heal them by simply being with them, thus allowing them to pass. Meeting your distressed child in the past and breathing them safely into the present will probably set your spirit free! If you need help with this, book a short Zoom with me.

3. List the life that you wish to live, without being attached to the details of it. My biggest mistake was being attached to the way I wanted life to be, as well as how I got there. This was limited to my previous experience, where life wanted to bring me bigger and better things from way beyond my experience. So I had to learn to let go of control and see what life had in store, including and beyond my wildest dreams! The big trick I learned is to feel as if I was living my dream, then breathe this feeling into the present. This is the gold shadow of what might be.

Christmas & New Year Online Men's Groups...

MenSpeak volunteer facilitators hold them every day!

Meet some of the MenSpeak facilitators who have held online MenCheck-in groups every weekday (12.20pm-1.30pm) and every weekend (10.20am-11.30am) since lockdown. As usual, we'll be holding at least one group on Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, Boxing Day, New Year's Eve and New Years Day - all men are welcome! Go to https://www.menspeak.co.uk - the first month is FREE then its £20 (£10 conc) per month for unlimited groups. Please check out our Ground Rules before you come along.

Should you wish to train to hold your own groups or work better with men, then please click here to find out about our trainings.

Christmas Is A Time For Giving

Please allocate some of your charitable giving to our CIC

We've proven that

- Men do speak (when people know how to simply listen)

- Men cry (when they feel safe enough to feel their feelings)

- Men make friends (without selling out on integrity / boundaries)

- Men laugh (whole-heartedly, without it having to be at anyone's expense)

- Men care (we're in it together; we can learn from one another's experiences)

If you'd like to support our work, please click here and give whatever you can. People have donated between £5 - £10,000 so far and it's all helping us scale up our offering to support the mental, emotional and social health of men, our families, our communities, and society at large. Go to www.menspeak.co.uk.

Another spot with Geoff Norcott!

It's always a buzz to guest on Geoff's podcast...

Geoff says: In the week of International Men's Day, The Man Whisperer rejoins us to chat about the big issues facing blokes and young men in particular (I also make some immature jokes about porn).

We always have a laugh - and it's usually incredibly insightful ...and X-rated!!! (so you may need to prove to YouTube you're over 18!)

Talking bollox - and having a good feel!

MoVember is about mental health & testicular / prostate cancer

When's the last time you checked out your plumbs for lumps and bumps and any peculiar irregularities? I often ask my clients and men's groups men to shave their nuts every full (and / or new) moon and while they're there, have a good feel. Do you know how to do it?

If you don't want to do it your self, there's no shame in asking for a helping hand! 'tis the season to be jolly, so get your baubles out and take care of your health...

My latest Agony Uncle column for the iPaper

The Christmas letters must be rolling in...

"I’m worried spending Christmas with my ex and her new family will break me"

My wife and I have been divorced for about two years – for context, we’re still good friends and co-parent our seven-year-old daughter, who is the light of our lives.

If I’m honest, the split happened because I wasn’t the best husband – over the years I said and did some hurtful things. My drinking got out of control and I was in the pub a lot while she was home alone as a new mother. After months of therapy I can now see how wrong I was.

Since the divorce, my wife has met a new partner and I hate to say it but he actually seems like a decent guy and my daughter adores him. They’re even expecting a baby. My ex has invited me for a big Christmas at their home so I can be with my daughter on Christmas day, but also because I have no partner and no plans, and I’m basically estranged from my own family. It will be a lot of his relatives and her family too (some I am ashamed to show my face in front of).

‘You might no longer be part of a standard two parent nuclear family, but you are an important member of a blended family,’ says Kenny (Photo: Getty/Miljan Lakic)

My daughter has been begging me to say yes, but I worry I won’t be able to cope when I see my ex-wife playing happy families with this great guy in their great house with our daughter, and I know it could have been me.

I want to make an excuse, but hate that it would disappoint my daughter and she might worry about me – what should I do?

Click here for Kenny's response.

Be the love, share the love...

...and the MenSpeak space-holders in our conscious community.