“If you think you’re enlightened, go spend a week with your family.”

Ram Dass

“I hope all the quality time with family doesn't ruin all the work you did in therapy!”

Someone-or-other on Facebook

I’ve found it difficult to write this newsletter because I’m approaching this Christmas with a sense of grief, loss and exhaustion. Friends and family have passed away this year and much as I can speak with them through my heart, think of them when I’m followed by a robin* and enjoy feeling into good times from days gone by, to (again) quote Ram Dass: “Your entire life is a curriculum” meaning all experiences, good and bad, serve as lessons for spiritual growth, helping us learn compassion and awareness, with the core lesson being to work on ourselves out of love for all beings by staying present and relieving suffering. Life provides the materials for enlightenment, and the “heavy curriculum” is staying conscious and open amidst life’s challenges, working on our inner selves to serve others**, rather than getting lost in ego or distractions.

Merry Christmas one and all!

You're not alone : MenCheck-in is on every day...

Robins appear when loved ones are near... (and bird sh*t is apparently a blessing!)

Christmas can be a time for grief. Noticing who’s not around your table and feeling an empty hole inside, while putting on a brave face and hoping that your true emotions don’t show, as you avoid attention and bringing the jollification down. 

Christmas can be a time of tension. Noticing that who you truly are has little space around the table and not feeling whole inside, while holding your tongue, holding it together and not rocking the boat for others, who love these familiar gatherings.

Christmas can be a time for anger. For having to sell out and eat, drink and betray your authenticity, often in the name of love for others, sometimes in the name of fear of ridicule, humiliation, abandonment, slipping back into unconscious old habits.

Christmas can be a time for gifting. Your time, your presence, your attention, your patience, unconditional love, generosity of heart. Kindly communicated boundaries with what you consume and how much you share of yourself is gifting to yourself.

Christmas is a time for loving. Loving yourself enough to rest, to ‘let it go’, to say "yes" and "no" with an open heart rather than through gritted teeth, to come and go as you can so when you're around you can give quality. To give reassurance, comfort and ‘love what is’ knowing that things won't be the same next year.

Christmas is a time for fun!

Christmas & New Year Online Men's Groups...

MenSpeak volunteer facilitators have held them every day since lockdown!

Meet some of the MenSpeak facilitators who have held online MenCheck-in groups every weekday (12.20pm-1.30pm) and every weekend (10.20am-11.30am) since lockdown. We’re on Christmas Eve 12.20pm-1.30pm, Christmas Day & Boxing Day & New Year’s Day 10.20am-11.30am, otherwise 12.20pm-1.30pm weekdays and 10.20am-11.30am weekends.

Go to www.menspeak.co.uk - the first month is FREE then its £20 (£10 conc) per month for unlimited daily online groups. Please check out our Ground Rules before you come along.

Snowflakes and snapshots, brandy on puddings

Bright coloured baubles and chestnuts a-roasting

Brightly coloured packages tied up with love

These (above) are a few of my favourite facilitators!

Christmas Karma

No movie has shocked me more as it unfolded... 

This was not was I was expecting!

Another door has most certainly opened up deep inside of me and the timing is perfect! Luckily I have inner guidance, top-notch supervision, a beloved wife, a best friend and the MenSpeak community to support me. I hope you have an inner world guide to safely walk by your side - otherwise please call a friend, come to MenSpeak and / or contact me.

MenFacilitate 2026

Training all genders to work with men to create deep connections and personal transformation

**We’ll be exploring purpose, passion and serving others during my free online talk and group experience that’s open to all genders Unleashing Authentic Masculinity on 5th Jan 7pm-9pm.

**We’ll be holding our accredited facilitation training to train all genders to work with men to create deep connections and personal transformations on Monday evenings 19th Jan – 2nd March, 7pm-9pm with lots of online videos, exercises and a space for community chat to share the journey.

Christmas Is A Time For Giving

Please allocate some of your charitable giving to the CIC I set up, MenSpeak Men's Groups

We've proven that:

- Men do speak (when people know how to simply listen)

- Men cry (when they feel safe enough to feel their feelings)

- Men make friends (without selling out on integrity / boundaries)

- Men laugh (whole-heartedly, without it having to be at anyone's expense)

- Men care (we're in it together; we can learn from one another's experiences)

If you'd like to support our work, please click here and give whatever you can. People have donated between £5 - £10,000 so far and it's all helping us scale up our offering to support the mental, emotional and social health of men, our families, our communities, and society at large. 

What Boys Need As Males...

A Global Conversation on Raising Boys into Men in the 21st Century - I'm chuffed to be part of this free conference!

I'll be speaking alongside Dr. John Gray, Dr Warren Farrell, Dr. Daniel Amen, my friend Jed Diamond and so many others.

Check out the words of this amazing song! Sobering stats too...

Are boys and men in trouble (with someone?)

We discussed the government's Violence Against Women & Girls Strategy and so much more (inc. Geoff's social issues!)

I'm live with Geoff on his Man Friday slot on Times Radio every fortnight, 8pm-8.30pm. Tune in here

Geoff and I barely said hello before going on as we were both absolutely knackered! My heart was thumping out of my chest with a nut reaction while I was on - I thought I may die on air! Then my headphones stopped working and no one could speak with me when I was on air. How did I do, considering?

My recent Agony Uncle column for the iPaper

Christmas should be fun, why is my wife so stressed about it?

Dear Kenny,

I’m in awe of my wife: she’s organised yet remains relatively laidback; she’s funny and wise and loves to listen to others; she’s a great parent to our children, aged six and three, holds down a good career and still makes time to remember friends’ birthdays. She aces life and just being around her makes me a better person.

‘None of us care if the roast potatoes are crunchy to perfection. How can we convince her to have fun?’ (Photo: Dougal Waters/Getty)

But then December comes and I watch her get stressed and frazzled and snappy. Christmas Day itself feels taut with stress until after lunch, when she starts to relax. I miss the woman I love at this time of year – it’s like the festive period saps the fun out of her.

None of us care if the roast potatoes are crunchy to perfection – we’d rather enjoy her company – how can we convince her to have fun?

JR, 44, south London

Click here for Kenny's response.

Chat with me: £25 for 25 minutes

Thinking of working one-to-one with me? Want to see if we click?

This is a chance for us to check-in and explore where you are, how you are, who you are, your needs, blocks and options in life. We'll explore what might be at play in your life / business, how to change perspectives for dream come true results and gain insight into the bigger picture of your life. Is it time for you to get in the driving seat of your life?

I'm known in the media for my work with men, though 40% of my private clients are women who are often in the public eye, professional and courageous enough to meet themselves where their spirits were broken and they felt powerless, so they can safely turn their lives around. 

Be the love, share the Xmas love...